At the worst, I found myself groveling through a large black garbage bag looking for pills spilled out on the hot Augusta grass. “I can’t believe I’m doing this” I screamed to myself. “I am so totally out of control and I can’t believe it’s come to this” My Husband lay in a psych hospital barking orders to me to salvage the medication I’d thrown in the trash. He was ordering me to save the very pills that he’d taken to try to end his life. He wanted those pills no matter what. For 37 years I’d been married to this man who always looked out for our family’s welfare but now had turned in to a crazy, flat affect, dead-faced man who was barking orders to me to dig through trash and all because of saving a few dollars. People say, “When you encounter severe trials, you will see what stuff you are really made of.” Well… I don’t think I was doing very well. Our family encountered the biggest trial of our lives, a suicide attempt by the patriarchal head and I had fallen apart. Then I heard the lyrics to Casting Crowns hit song “I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE A LEGACY, I DON’T CARE IF THEY REMEMBER ME, ONLY JESUS”. That’s it! I don’t have to have it all together when tough times hit. It really is about Jesus and His is the only name that matters. We crumble to dust and it’s OK. Did I live the truth to the ones I love? Yes. But, whose name will last forever? HIS! Long story short: we are better now. The healing process for mental health issues is lengthy but inside uninhibited worship with other believers and the promises, proclamation, and declarations of Jesus Christ my Savior, WE ARE HEALED! Karen Deaver google image VEVO Casting Crown
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Author This Guest Blog is a newer addition to this website, and eagerly awaiting for my guests; various Christian Friends and Leaders I have done Victorious - Life with, Archives
September 2020
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